Water Under The Bridge
by Lil' Ass Kicker
Summary: Emma Swan is an attractive, intelligent woman who's only twenty six yet has already achieved more in her life than most would in fifty years, however all of her life lessons are distorted and wrong. Could Killian Jones change all that she's come to know, and make fill that hole in her chest in the process? (Chapter 5 fixed!)
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing, probably never will own anything cause I spend most of my life either writing or being ill. Awesome way to go. I don't own CS, OUAT, the cast or characters or crew, that's all down to the hard work of the show as a whole- I'm just a faithful watcher.**

 **Title stolen from Adele. Sorry, love!**

 **Water Under The Bridge**

 **3rd Person**

Emma scoffs, finishing the filing of her nails and sipping at her coffee, a look of disgust gracing her lovely features as she raises and eyebrow at David and her nose scrunches up at the monstrosity before her. "David, sweetie, I read twenty fashion magazines a day, work for Vogue-"

"You classify what you do as work?" David is now the one to raise an eyebrow and her glare silences him, making him look down at the shirt he wears.

"I may not know much about politics or how to write and English essay, but I do know that you need to rip that shirt off your body and run away or I will never be seen in public with you ever again." Emma shrugs, frowning in distaste and her head lolls around to the side to gather a second opinion. "Mary Margaret?"

Emma Swan is an attractive, elegant, intelligent woman who's only twenty six yet has already achieved more in her life than most would in fifty years. She's got the longest, brightest blonde hair you'll ever see, stunning green eyes that catch your attention perfectly, she's slim- after years of constant workouts every-damn-day- and not to mention the fact she has a heart of gold.

Usually. Usually she has a heart of gold. To her friends at least... sometimes not even then. David takes to describing her as 'short and sweet yet not always sweet' and the woman scowls at him each time.

She's been through more in her life then one would imagine, and it's safe to assume you wouldn't want to imagine it either- fighting with everything in her to get the the place where she is and she is determined to keep it, even if it means ignoring her friends to stay there.

Emma Swan's life is fairly laid back, and she often travels to Europe with her 'Aunt Patsy' who has very much been a huge influence in her life. Patsy was the one who made her who she is, gaining her a job at Vogue when she was only twenty and making it so she never had to lift a finger again- not that Patsy ever did either.

Unfortunately, there was no deterring Emma from becoming exactly like her Aunt Patsy. Single, high fly and up herself, out for her and only her, turning to wine and cigarettes when not with men, though Emma never did partake in those sorts of things- there had been flings, one night stands that went no where and relationships that lasted a few months at best, and sure Emma's intake of red wine was above what it should be, but she continues to protest she is nothing like her Aunt.

David fears the more she denies it, the more she turns into her.

Mary Margaret, the poor woman placed on the spot, shrugs. "I like the shirt," Emma scoffs once more, throwing her hands in the air as mock surrender. "I think it suits him."

"No wonder you're married..." Emma mutters, earning herself glares. "God bless your child's fashion sense, luckily he has Auntie Emma to help him out with that field-"

"Speaking of our child," David begins, effectively cutting Emma off and she frowns at the interruption. "Mary Margaret and I were wondering if you would watch young Daniel for us this weekend-"

Emma frowns, shaking her head, before suddenly her face morphs into a smile. "Can't, sorry brother-dearest, I'm off to Italy with Auntie Patsy."

"Again?" David asks, Emma was barely ever around and he thought he'd get time with his sister before she jetted off again. "You were in France last week!"

"And now we're booked for Italy!" Emma exclaims, sitting up and making some elaborate hand gesture he isn't sure is appropriate. "Away from work and stress, just us two and shopping!"

"What work?" Mary Margaret scoffs.

"The most stress you've ever had is when a boy in the playground cut off a chunk of your hair, and even then you got Auntie Patsy to pay off the teacher so he got in trouble!" David protests and Emma's scowl appears in full vengeance, the woman's excitement deflating as quickly as it came.

"I do work," Emma defends. "I go in once a month, tell them they're ideas are crap and then leave. It's very draining," She pouts, like a child who's been refused a cookie before dinner. "My stress comes from... oh I don't know," She puts on the puppy dog eyes. "Being lonely and single, with only Patsy as my company."

"You chose to be single, plenty of guys ask you out." Mary Margaret points out, _unhelpfully_ Emma thinks, with a shit-eating-grin. "And if Patsy is your only company, I should worry for your mental health."

Emma sends a glare her way, looking every bit of a spoiled woman used to getting her own way- and David supposes she is that way now. "I want to go to Italy, that's final. I can never have fun anymore, not without you two breathing down my neck! Patsy is fun, she lets me let my hair down and forget the struggles of the world, now stop being boring old farts and be happy for me."

She's back to her carefree, cautious and excited self before they can comment. "Refill?"

* * *

Killian saunters through his office, winking at his friend as he passes, popping open the button on his dark blue suit as he reaches the main reception desk and grins wickedly at the woman there. "Lass, I believe you have something of mine."

Tink, one of his best friends and receptionist, smiles before reaching under the desk. "Just as you left it with me this morning," She pulls out a large paper bag, full to the brim of clothes, and he grins at the sight of it. "Do you own the exact same shirt in twenty different shades of blue or do you not own a washing machine?"

"Ha ha." He takes the bag from her. "Its comfy and I don't mind if it gets paint all over it." He shrugs, placing the bag down on the floor and producing a hanger from it- pulling off his suit jacket and laying it on the hanger, he straightens out any creases before picking up the bag again and rushing off to his office.

Killian Jones couldn't be any more different from Emma Swan.

He's fought tooth and nail to get where he is today, nobody ever helping him along the way and he's lost far too many people than to be considered healthy- which makes him all the more clingy to those he does have. Tink, basically, is all he has, and some father that keeps on messaging him to no avail.

Let us not even mention that man.

Killian Jones sailed his way through his studies, enrolled in the Navy with his big brother Liam and served as a Lieutenant before being honorably discharged at the passing of Liam Jones and the loss of Killian's left hand- all taken from him in an accident that could have been avoided had he of _listened_ but again... best not to dwell.

He earned a large sum of money when he was only twenty one, all from the Navy and Liam's will (not that Liam had too much), that helped him set up his own small business before he got more and more interest in his tiny- it was tiny- organisation that mostly created sailing equipment or ways to stay safe, so that no one would endure the same fate as Liam and his left hand.

A woman named Patsy Wolfe took interest in his company and, by the skin of his teeth, he managed to convince her to fund him and within the year it was a major company with several different branches, Patsy always allowing him to have full control and accepting now payments from him except for the funds she gave.

Soon his company was so huge he realized he'd never need to worry for money anymore, and had begun to fund others like Patsy had for him. This included a hunting equipment company that became his chain and earned him a best friend in Robin Locksley, and the two helped a young man named Will set up his own bar- creating a chain for them also, and thus the three amigos was born.

However, Killian didn't just fund companies or organisations he thought he'd achieve something with. Since he turned twenty three, four years prior, he's been funding a small group named 'Swan Care'- and it's safe to say he has tried everything in his power to keep the small charity going, however nothing he did helped significantly...

Thus, by a stroke of what he calls genius but was actually rum and self pity, 'Hooks Hope Foundation' was born- his drunk addled brain believing that was a very creative and original name- two years ago.

Hooks Hope Foundation is a chain charity with Swan Care, each helping children with their education but Hooks Hope goes further and also includes activities- since the children they care for don't have much money, if any, and can't afford school books let alone fun trips out like children should, him and a group of others take them out almost every week for a fun adventure.

Which is exactly why he's just changed into a pair of paint-covered grey jeans, trainers that have been worn in one or two too many times and a plain light blue button up that Tink insists is the exact same every week.

Folding up all of his clothes neatly and placing them in the bag the rest of his things were, he gathers up all he'll need and rushes out the door to Tink- presenting her with a bright (polished every Sunday so it sparkles) silver house key, hanging off several key chains the kids have presented to him over the last four years. "Tink, would you be so kind and-"

"Bring your things back to yours and feed your dog?" He nods, smiling sheepishly and she nods- taking the bag full of his possessions and placing it on the desk next to her. "Not a bother, like it isn't every week."

Killian grins and sends her a wink. "You're a gem."

* * *

Emma sips at her coffee, throwing scowls at the couple across the street as they speak to their children with love in their eyes and their children giggle over nothing. "Urg." She finishes her coffee, frowning.

"Sickening, isn't it?" Her company comments, taking a puff from their cigarette and scowling much like Emma did- Emma brushes the smoke that is blown at her, frowning at the beehive hairdo-blonde in front of her.

"Yup..." Emma picks up a stray fork from her muffin that she used. "Makes me wanna stick a fork in my eye." Her company pulls the fork from her hand and Emma scoffs.

"The only person who will cause you bodily harm will be me, Emma Swan." Patsy, her company and oh-so-loving 'Aunt', tells her, teeth baring in a grin that can only be described as evil. "I've been waiting twelve years for it, don't dangle the dream and take it away."

"Whatever, Aunt Patsy." Emma presses a lone finger to the window, grinning when she spots a man opening the front of his car and huffing into the air- the cold October air catching onto his breath and causing smoke. "If you'll excuse me, I have someone to help."

Patsy glances in the direction Emma had been looking, taking a drag from her favorite drug and waving her off. "Go get some."

Emma scoffs and makes her way out of the cafe she'd been in, using her thin cardigan as protection from the cold air as she pulls it closer to her, her heels clicking on the cobbles on the ground as she approaches the man she'd set her sights on.

To her surprise, and liking, the man doesn't notice her stand next to him- to preoccupied with whispering profanities under his breath about his car- before she leans against the side and smirks when he yelps, letting her know he's seen her. "Need some help?"

Blue eyes meet green and she almost gasps at the gorgeous sight she's faced with, this man truly is a vision to behold, but keeps it in when he extends a hand. "Killian Jones, and yes."

"Emma Swan." She takes his hand before rolling her sleeves up, tying the bottom of her cardigan around her waist and leaning under the hood of the car to see the problem. "I grew up in foster homes and once, my foster brother taught me how to repair cars- though it depends on the severity of the damage."

After ten minutes and a quick explanation about what was wrong, she has the keys in the engine and it's purring like it should- making him grin thankfully at her and attempt to pay her. "No, don't you dare." She pushes his money filled hands away, waiting for him to put the wad of fifties away before closing the hood of the car and leaning on it. "You could do me a favor instead?" She suggests.

"Which is?" He asks and she smirks, taking a step closer to him while one eye is trained at her aunt- who's face is pressed against the glass of the coffee shop, watching their interaction with her legs bent up in the air ungracefully and cigarette hanging out of her mouth.

"You see that blonde with a beehive in the window of the coffee shop?" He nods. "Been staring for a while... yeah. She's kind of my aunt, and my favor is that you pretend to whisper seductively in my ear and then whisk me away out of here in your newly repaired car?"

He smirks, also taking a step closer and using his hand (his only hand, she notices) to untie her cardigan where she'd tied a knot earlier in order to help him. "I'm about to go volunteer with a bunch of kids, and unless you feel like helping." She scoffs, frowning from the word volunteer and ignoring her heart pounding when she learns he helps children.

"Just whisk me away, down the street and round the corner will do, but she needs to think I've pulled you away to have my wicked way with you." She plasters on a fake smile, pressing her hands against his chest and leaning close. "I could... but you're volunteering, so it wouldn't be right of course-"

He grins, chucking a little and turning his head so his nose nuzzles her cheek and she can feel his smile widen when she leans up to whisper in his ear. "I wouldn't want you to ignore the children just for some woman." She shrugs and she notices him pretending- or so she thinks he is, for her aunts benefit- to be amused by her words.

"Fine, this dashing rapscallion will whisk you away to the next bus stop." She grins and takes a hold of his hand, allowing him to walk her round the passenger side and opening the door so she can slip in.

As he slides into his own side, her phone pings and she looks down to find Patsy has send her a string of winking emojis. "So," He starts his engine once more and she sighs in satisfaction at the noise it makes. "Emma Swan, why'd you help me?"

"Saw you in distress, saw a pull, thought I could one up my aunt and decided 'why not?' and went for you." She shrugs, pulling her seat belt around her and grinning as he pulls away from the curb. "Patsy will sure be jealous-"

"Patsy? As in... Patsy Wolfe?" He asks and she nods. "Knew I knew her face, lass, I've met her, she helped me set up my business-"

"Not true." She scoffs. "Patsy never helps anyone unless somethings in it for her, it's her tricks, I'm sure she scammed you-"

"Nope, the opposite." The way in which he pops the 'p' in his sentences both irks her, making him all the more irritating to her, and makes the attraction she feels rise- and it shows in the way she blushes when he reaches for the car controls, mistakingly thinking he was reaching for the hand she has resting on her thigh and taking his fake hand in her own. "That's new."

Emma raises an eyebrow, not understanding as she rests their joined hands (wooden being grasped by her own real one) on her leg. "What?"

"I was actually reaching for her gears..." She retracts her hand like an electric shock, embarrassment overtaking her features and she rests her elbow on his window- hitting her head for being such an idiot. "But that was nice, Swan, did you see me complaining?" He pulls to a stop at a light and she grins, reaching over a pressing a kiss to his cheek for no reason other than she wanted to.

She's never been so out there, completely open to someone, like she's being now. It's slightly terrifying but it just makes him ten times more attractive to her, seeing as he doesn't comment but just bites his lip as the light goes green. "Want some company with the kids?" She finds herself offering, shocking herself and him evidently by the way his eyes widen as he nods. "It'll be my first time though, I may not be very good."

He winks at the innuendos to be made and she rolls her eyes. "Never forget your first, love."

* * *

Shocklingly, she ends up not hating the experience. Although she could do without kids asking her if she was 'Killy's girlfriend'.

Even more surprising, however, is that she ends up finding out she loves throwing paint at a wall while Killian and a group of children try to pelt her group with nerf bullets and it's declared an all out war- her group winning purely because Killian fell over and everyone gathered against him, only to let rip with their bullets and wreck him.

Emma finds herself eating dinner with him before the nights out, sitting on his couch watching a replay of some old comedy show while eating with chop sticks and throwing rice at his head when he's not looking.

Her phone pings, buzzes and rings all night, but it goes ignored as she finds herself having a water fight with Killian that ends with her pressed up against the kitchen counter and-

Well, you can guess the rest.

 _Damn it!_ Emma thinks, _I wasn't meant to sleep with him, and I certainly wasn't meant to enjoy myself doing other things too- it's not what Patsy taught me._

At five am the next morning, she slips out of Killian's arms and into her clothes- frowning as she writes a note and leaves it where her head was, brushing the hair from his face and smiling in contentment when she sees him relax under her touch.

She regrets her decision for the rest of her day, wishing she had stayed with him, wishing she could have laid back down in his arms, fall asleep again and wake up to kissing him in the morning, maybe eat together with shared looks over the table- hands together- and helping him wash up before leaving with a promise of a date soon.

But that's not what she was taught, she should only be for herself, only do what she needs to help her get along, she shouldn't have enjoyed helping him so much or being around him- being comfortable in his arms and wondering what would have happened if she'd stayed.

Patsy taught her better then to fall in love with strangers.

* * *

 **In the next chapter, if you guys like it enough to Kudos, Bookmark, Review, Comment or Follow/ Favorite than there will be more chapters. I like how this has gone so far, I will explain Patsy in more detail soon because she's complex- and if you want to see how this Aunt Patsy has affected Emma's life so much this happens... Who knows?**

 **Much love. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**I own nothing, I don't own OUAT or it's cast, characters, plot, setting, crew, I own nothing and it's physically painful to admit that. Chapter title is 100% stolen from Sia and the song Chandelier- sorry Sia, babes! ;)**

 **Great, now I have a throat infection, can I get any more ill if I tried?**

 **Here Comes The Shame**

 **3rd Person**

Emma sighs, flipping through her magazine with a frown as she lifts it up for her company to see, the other woman scowling as she lights a cigarette as well as gulping from her wine glass. "That trollop passed her sell by date years ago."

"Auntie Patsy!" Emma scolds, lowering the magazine so it rests on her lap and flicks through it some more. "I thought she was very pretty, I'd like to look like her when I'm her age..." It's not shock when Patsy scoffs, taking a drag and blowing smoke from her dark red lips as she does so.

"I'd much rather look like Jennifer Aniston when I'm her age." Patsy comments and Emma raises an eyebrow. "I'm not forty eight, am I?"

"You know its awful that you've lied so much you can't remember your own age, right?" Patsy just smokes some more, ignoring the huge **NO SMOKING** sign behind her head- half covered by her beehive- and Emma frowns.

"At least I'll never get comments about it." Patsy gulps at her red wine, frowning when she finishes her glass too quickly. "Oh look, gone." She shows it to Emma, she shrugs in indifference. "Have you been drinking it when I'm not looking?"

"No, Pats, you'd rip my arm off and use my blood for make up if I did." Emma points out matter-of-factly, leaning back in her chair with a grin.

"I almost did for that handsome hunk two days ago, God, I wish I went for him." Patsy pouts, red lips protruding unattractively. "You never said how it ended... it did end right?"

"Yes, it ended. I left in the morning-"

"You waited until morning, oh Emma did I teach you nothing?" Patsy looks ashamed and Emma turns her head so not to see her disapproving looks, the older woman tuts instead and takes a drag from her cigarette. "That is pitiful. You left here in the afternoon!"

Emma shuffles in her seat uncomfortably, frowning at the cup of water she has on the table in front of her. "We spent the day together..." Emma mumbles and Patsy growls. "I liked him."

To her surprise, Patsy doesn't kill her, instead she just sighs and leans back in her seat with a sad look- looking wistful as she sighs and turns full on to Emma. "You still like him, don't you?" Emma shrugs. "Can't stop thinking about him, I suppose?"

Emma looks down to the floor, embarrassed that Patsy read her so easily. "Oh, darling," She doesn't sound sympathetic, more irritated and it's what Emma feared- it's why she left him. "You know why I've taught you to leave as soon as you've gotten what you need."

"To stop me from getting hurt, Patsy, I know." Patsy tuts once more, moving away from Emma and taking a puff from her cigarette, holding onto the smoke for a moment too long before exhaling- making it sound like a deep, dangerous, growl that reminds Emma of Killian, which makes her shrink into herself more.

"Then why-" Emma sighs once more, cutting her off and she admits:

"I feel like I made the wrong choice."

* * *

 _'I saw your face in a crowded place, and I don't know what to do, cause I'll never be with you..'_

Killian stares at the radio, frowning, and changes the channel. He has his head laying against his desk, finished paperwork stacked neatly next to him, and is sat there staring at the key chains on his house key- admiring each chain that a different child has given him, grinning when he sees they've carved their names into them.

So he doesn't forget them, he supposes, not that he ever does.

 _'Could you take care... of a broken soul? Will you hold me now?'_

Turning the blasted thing off, he growls and his head lifts as someone knocks on his door. Tink enters, heels clicking on the floor and a stack of papers in hand he doesn't like the look of. "Killian Jones," She approaches where he is, he doesn't move his head even as she lifts it to look at him- he just drops his head back down and, yeah, it hurts enough to make him wince and hiss. "Knew that'd work."

"What would?" Killian asks, lifting his head slightly to look up at her. "Hurting me works to cause me to make snake noises, real sound theory, Tink, thanks." He drops his head again and she chuckles.

"Why are you still in a funk? Over this blonde broad?" His head snaps up to glare at her, making her step back slightly at the anger in his eyes. "Not a broad. So... she was an intelligent, classy woman?" He nods, frowning into his desk. "What the hell she'd see in you?" Tink jokes and he pretends to laugh, actually leaning back in his chair and pouting.

"Not a lot, evidently." He frowns, actually hurt by the thought of yesterday morning and waking up alone. "She spent the whole day with me, with the kids, and I thought she'd stay."

Tink, perturbed about her friend's sadness and seemingly depressed attitude, sits sideways on his desk and places the files next to her. "You liked this woman." He nods, picking at an imaginary piece of lint on his suit trousers. "And she left in the morning, I assume, no word, no note, nothing?"

"A note." Tink smiles to herself, resting a hand on Killian's (large and neat as hell) desk to lean against she shifts on it to face him properly.

"Saying?" Killian sighs, reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet before taking out a small, folded, piece of lined paper- the lined paper she knows Killian keeps in his room, seeing as he orders it under the office account keeps it near him in case he gets a burst of creative inspiration and decides on a new piece of equipment he wants to make- and he reaches over the desk to hand it to her.

Tink unfolds it carefully, noting that the woman used the black pen Tink got him (again, she knows it's that one due to the way it's written, Killian has taught her all the tricks she needs to know) for his creations that he keeps next to the paper in his room. "Killian," She reads aloud, making him sigh and she stops. "Fine, I'll read in my head."

 _Killian,_

 _I had a lot of fun yesterday, wish I could stay but I have to go. You made my day,_

 _Emma._

Folding the note over again, she smiles secretively, handing it back to him and watching as he puts it carefully back in his wallet. "Dude, you got it bad." Tink comments, before picking up her folder again and hopping off his desk. "But, by the sounds of it, so does she."

"How'd you figure?" He sits up straight, causing creases in his suit jacket she wants to fix, and the hope in his eyes is something she's very happy she put there.

"Wish I could stay but I have to go?" Tink remembers, smiling like a wolf after she's said it. "If she wishes she could stay, you're in the jackpot, she likes you, wanted to stay but has to go- it doesn't sound like it's even a choice."

"Really?" He asks, skeptical of her, but she just nods. "And you got that from a sentence."

"I'm a woman," Tink reminds. "And I studied psychology for almost five years before becoming your emploee," He looks sympathetic, but he did give her a job when she was broke, alcoholic and had nothing, so she owes him- and she couldn't be happier to work for him. "I know she likes you."

"If I were to..." He trails off, looking embarrassed. "Look for her. Would that be crazy?"

"Depending on her situation, she could find it stalkerish or the most romantic thing anyone has ever done. I recommend starting with the internet and soon trying out mutual friends on social media and such, like a true stalker." She gives him a thumbs up and he rolls his eyes. "What's her name? Emma..."

"Swan." She raises an eyebrow.

"Like... Swan Care? The charity we fund- OH that story would be romantic." She gushes. "Imagine the wedding speeches! He helped her charity for years and soon started his own, still funding hers together with his and they soon slept together and left but then found-"

"Not as in Swan Care." He cuts her off, frowning, before grinning suddenly. "But that would be an interesting story, I'll admit, right love tale-"

"RIGHT?"

"Better than Romeo and Juliet?" She frowns, hands on her hips and he grimaces.

" _Nothing_ beats Romeo and Juliet, okay?" He nods, slightly terrified about accidentally/ inadvertently insulting her favorite love story of all time, but she just grins.

"Not even Brad and Angelia?"

* * *

Chewing thoughtfully on her salad and wincing when she craves something more filling, but shakes herself out of it at the thought of what it would do to her waistline. She craves chocolate, every day since Patsy convinced her the weight wasn't worth it she's craved it, she craves white bread and cheese.

Grilled cheese she's permanently craved for the last year, not that the was when Patsy convinced her there were too many calories- that was four years ago, four _very long_ years ago.

It's been a week since she left Killian alone, practically running out of his home at five am in her haste not to be seen, and she's never felt so unhappy.

Patsy told her she was being ridiculous when she'd told her she regret her decision, laughed at her in fact and offered her some wine (which she had ordered after Emma's confession)- which she took one sip of before Patsy's attention was caught by something on her phone and she'd had to rush to God knows where. She ran out of there like her arse was on fire, ever present cigarette in hand and she'd gulped her wine before leaving so Emma was lonely with no liquid courage to stay alone.

Emma hated being alone.

Now, however, now she's sat on a plane next to her aunt and praying the woman doesn't drink too much- she's already smoked about five cigarettes and been given tons of warnings but she just hands them a fifty and continues. Emma's drank more water within the last hour of their journey than ever before, regretting even going on holiday in case he-

 _What the hell is she thinking? Killian won't come after me._ Emma shakes her head in an effort to rid herself of the thoughts but they're still there, bugging her, lurking in corners and she's desperate to get rid of them. Some small part of her actually hopes he regrets letting her leave, well not going after her before after he'd realized she was gone, and will rush after her. But he won't...

No one will ever do an airport chase for Emma Swan.

Ignoring the fact she's already been in the air for an hour and the chase would more be a run and then horrible realization that she's already gone, holiday in Italy planned for the weekend and her fully preparing to enjoy it.

She would enjoy it a lot more if Killian Jones would get out of her thoughts.

* * *

With a growl, he slams the computer lid down, making Tink jump about a meter in the air and he frowns, but apologizes. "There are over seven hundred Emma Swans." He sighs, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his hand over his face as Tink opens her own laptop and enters the internet.

After a brief few moments of searching she looks up, picking at her teeth with her tongue in curiosity, and he glances hopefully at her. "Have any clue about any information about her?"

"Uh..." He thinks over all of their conversations from the week before and nods. "She has an Aunt named Patsy, works for Vogue, Emma's a stunning blonde with these gorgeous green eyes-"

"Alright, lover boy." Tink halts him, typing some things into her computer before grinning and turning the screen towards him. "This her?"

Killian practically jumps out of his seat, leaping over to where she is across the room and smiling as wide as any man could before pulling Tink into a hug from her seated position, squishing her ribs into her desk and she can't find it in her to be mad when he's so happy. "That's her, that's Emma. That's my Emma, how did you find her, lass?"

"Mutual friends." Tink shrugs, allowing him to log into his account on the social media website and find Emma again. "Go onto your friends list, find Patsy and look up Emma." Killian does as he's told and he finds her again, clicking the messaging button before he can think.

"What do I say?" Killian asks, looking worried and nervous. "She'll think I'm a creep if I message now, I'll-"

"One, you are a creep and two, who knows? Maybe she's into that kinda thing." Tink shrugs, pushing the computer closer to him in a vain attempt to get him to message. "Just lie, say she came up on suggested friends and you recognized her."

He frowns at the idea of lying, he may not know her that well but he doesn't want to lie to this woman he's developed irrational and inconvenient feelings for. "Lying isn't a good move."

"Then tell her the truth, but how will that go down?" He raises an eyebrow when Tink chuckles to herself, thinking about all the possibilities. "Hi there, remember that guy you slept with a week ago, well that was me and I kinda like you and was pretty bummed when you left with only a note- I got my psychiatrist trained friend to decode the note and I think you like me, please don't call the cops and PS. Are you free next weekend?"

"That is not what I would say, lass."

Her eyes sparkle at the name and she nods. "You're right. There would more loves, lasses and darlings involved. My mistake, sorry, Jones." He rolls his eyes and his fingers are itching to type but they don't move.

"I can't think..."

"What else is new?"

* * *

As soon as she connects to the internet, two days later after spending a few hours in the sun, she finds she has a few missed calls and texts but nothing important until she checks her social media- awaiting a response from a model and seeing their reply but not before she sees his name.

 _Killian Jones_

All the breath leaves her body and she checks behind her shoulder to make sure Patsy isn't watching her, the woman practically asleep on a sun-lounger, she allows her finger to hover over his name before she loses her courage and clicks on the models reply instead- sending a quick message back.

But then, after she's finished doing that, she's back looking at his name. Emma can't believe that he actually found her, messaged her and she's been regretting everything since she left and maybe he's told her he regrets it too. She won't know unless she answers, biting her lip until she can taste blood and all the saliva is gone from her mouth, and so she clicks on his name and smiles at the message.

 _Hi, lass, it's Killian Jones. You might remember me, you don't have to, it's okay if you don't, well it's not really because you'd be very confused why I'm messaging you now. This is awkward, I've messed up. Let me take another shot, please?_

 _Hi, I'm Killian Jones and we met last week, you helped me with my car and the kids as you volunteered. I'm the dashing rapscallion that pretended to whisk you away somewhere nice and instead we ate Chinese and watched 90s TV shows. Yeah, that's me. Anyway, you're probably wondering why I've messaged and you don't even have to reply, I'd really... really, REALLY like to see you again. Soon, as soon as you like, maybe you don't even want to. I'm sorry._

 _Let me know, I'll be waiting. Again, you don't have to. Thanks. :)_

Emma almost laughs at how his nervousness comes across even over a message, from another continent, and she can't help but send a very long paragraph to Mary Margaret about how he'd messaged her- asking for advice on what to say, how long her message should be.

She's never been so caught up on a guy and it makes her smile at how he seems the same.

Just as she's about to type her reply, Patsy is up again and she has to stuff her phone in her bag next to her, smiling like a child that just stolen the last cookie as Patsy lights a cigarette and orders them both a glass of wine.

Emma's too busy twiddling her thumbs and biting her lip to drink hers, making Patsy think its okay to drink it, not that Emma minds- she wants to be one hundred percent sober when she messages him back tonight, so she doesn't make any silly mistakes.

Before she knows it, Patsy is pulling her to go get their nails done and she forgets what she was thinking about the minute she gets dragged away.

Unfortunately for her, the next time she thinks about it is when she's falling into bed after Patsy has tired her out, shopping all day in heels and then forcing her out for dinner and then more midnight shopping- leaving her shattered and needing sleep more than needing to message handsome men she has feelings for.

She dreams she messages him and thinks no more of it when she wakes up- convinced her dream was real.

* * *

About three and a half weeks later and she has her head over the toilet, Mary Margaret holding her hair back and advising her not to drink so much if it makes her sick the morning after- but she knows she hasn't had a proper glass of wine, not one, since that day with Killian.

She chalks it up to all of the spontaneous holidays Patsy has brought her on, seeing her sadness over Killian not messaging her back (unaware she never replied in the first place)- yet not knowing the reason behind it.

To her annoyance, she can't keep down breakfast after the morning she'd had and just falls back into bed after a pitiful attempt. She always goes to Mary Margaret's and David's house for breakfast and always enjoys it, but this morning- as soon as she'd walked in and gotten the scent of what she thinks whats eggs- she'd ran for their bathroom.

Lovingly, Mary Margaret forces her to stay for the rest of the day so she can take care of her but all it does is make Emma think of Killian all the more- having nothing to do and having time does that to her.

It isn't until David asks to borrow her phone that night, when she can try and stomach dinner they've made, to make a call and asks why she never replied to the man she won't stop complaining about to them and her head snaps up. "What?"

"Killian Jones, the one you've moped over and refused to tell Patsy about. He messaged you almost for weeks ago and you haven't replied."

"No, I messaged him back the day I got the message." She takes her phone back and thinks back to what she sent and suddenly she gasps. "Crap, I'm such an idiot!"

"You did that thing where you thought you replied didn't you?" David asks, smug grin on his face as Emma quickly types a reply and sends it- biting her lip and she hears it send and suddenly she can relax a little.

* * *

As soon as she walks into Killian's office she knows her mistake, watching him throw darts at his bored and check his phone for the one hundredth time in almost four weeks. It's rather sad, actually, to watch the man who's been very much like an older brother faun over a girl who can't be bothered to reply to even let him know she isn't interested.

Killian sighs unhappily at the sight of no notifications, turning back to his board and Tink frown deepens. "Y'know, I always thought that when the time came for you to go mad, it would be fast. It's rather disturbing to watch you go mentally insane before my very eyes..."

"Sorry to disturb you," He throws a dart and hits bulls-eye, going to collect his darts with a frown. "Tink, why are you here?"

"Because I'm here to knock some sense into you!" Tink exclaims, taking a step towards her friend and he shakes his head. "Is she really worth going mental over? Message her again!"

"Tink, there is no use in her calling for a harassment officer to come my way." He states, scowling and throwing a dart. "She isn't interested, leave it. I didn't think she'd reply anyway but I thought **maybe** she felt something that night, I had hope that she did anyway but-"

His phone pings and it makes him lose concentration and accidentally hit his flat screen TV with a dart, scratching the screen but he doesn't care as he leaps for his phone.

Waiting on baited breath, Tink smiles when he cheers and looks so happy he could burst in two. "She replied. Apparently she-" He hands the phone to Tink. "Read it!"

Tink smiles at her (basically) brothers antics and reads the message, her grin never wavering at how apologetic the woman seems to be about her mistake and Tink can tell she's being genuine.

 _Hi, Killian! I am SO SORRY that I haven't replied until now, I'm so stupid. I had a dream that I messaged you back when I was on holiday and didn't think to check, my dream was so strange it felt real and I did message you this long ass paragraph so I'm very, really, very even more, sorry I haven't replied until now._

 _You've probably forgotten about me but I would love to meet up some time, really soon, as soon as you'd like. I regret leaving that morning but I just couldn't stay but I want to see you again and I hope you want to see me too- or have I left it too late? If I have, then I'm sorry again and will you give me another chance and if not... next week Wednesday at Granny's, one o'clock for lunch?_

Killian is practically bouncing in his seat when Tink hands him the phone back, smile contagious, and she has to be happy too- and she is, maybe he'll finally stop looking like she shot his dog.

"Am I free next week on Wednesday at one o'clock?" Killian asks and she practically runs to her desk outside, flinging his office door open so quickly that it slams against the window and almost breaks it but luckily for him (and his bank account for having to pay for that door and window) it doesn't.

Once again, he thanks himself for picking someone so fast to be his receptionist as Tink runs in with her laptop and his schedule is open as she scrolls for it. "Wednesday the second of November, lass? One o'clock-"

"I remember, I have a better memory than a goldfish."

"But you are an airhead like a fairy," He winks when she nudges him with her elbow. "Well, am I?" He bounces on the spot like a petulant child and she nods at him, grinning and showing him the rota for that week- he's free for lunch and another hour after. "Keep that free, book it now with me off, please!"

"Will do." She types something into her computer one handed, something he always does due to y'know _one hand permanently_ , and grins when it goes through. "There, I booked your date."

"Not a date... is it?"

* * *

Sprinting out of bed at six am to throw up has never been one of Emma's favorite things to do, neither is being nauseas for the rest of the day but she figures she probably ill. She guesses thats what being around the smoke chimney Patsy does.

Honestly, she has no clue how that woman is so healthy.

Patsy smokes, drinks and (most likely) drugs the hell out of her life, mostly smokes it away by her chain of cigarettes that never seem to run out. Emma drinks a bit more than she should, took drugs once when she was fifteen but threw up so violently she said no to any more ever again and she used to smoke one a week for like three months.

Now Emma's the sick one, it's just not fair.

Every time she stands, she gets dizzy and needs to sit down. It's getting tiring having to ease herself up gently, keeping her head up so she doesn't move to fast, and even then she feels light headed- but she's convinced she's been inhaling too much Patsy air from their spontaneous holidays.

When she tells David on Sunday afternoon when Mary Margaret is cooking still, he just gives her the side eye and offers useless advice to stick away from Patsy until she's better- which, when she tells the woman over text, offends Patsy to no end and makes her use a torrent of abusive words just to get her frustration out.

For some reason, as she's helping Mary Margaret clean the plates and accidentally brushes against the woman as they pass each other, she drops the plate in her hand to clutch her chest- confused at the sudden tenderness and Mary Margaret gets a knowing look in her eyes when Emma, by force, admits whats wrong.

To her surprise and slight delight, Mary Margaret forces David to finish what they started with the washing up and drags Emma to the bathroom, where she- very calmly so not to freak Emma out- asks when her last period was. Emma is, quite frankly, offended by the question but answers that she hasn't had it since a week before her encounter with Killian- and Mary Margaret digs into her cabinet, pulling out a test and shoving it in Emma's hands.

It takes her all of five minutes to gather up her courage to take it and the three minute wait is agony, twiddling her thumbs and pacing around her best friends bathroom, with a sinking feeling in her gut she knows the answer without the tests results.

Her suspicious are confirmed when two pink lines stare at her.

She's pregnant.

* * *

 **Ah, our lovely Emma is preggers. :) How will Killian react? Will she tell him? Oh hell, who knows?**


	3. Chapter 3

**I own nothing, I don't own OUAT or it's cast, characters, plot, setting, crew, I own nothing and it's physically painful to admit that. Chapter title stolen from Lady Antebellum- Need You Now, one of my all time favorite songs ever.**

 **Note, I've been very x838383 very ill, and so has my family, so posting is a meanie, I'm sorry. :)**

 **If I Ever Crossed Your Mind**

 **3rd Person **

On the second of November, Emma was frantic in her search for something to wear, having expecting to be going to a fancy dinner or something like she normally would, but after messaging Killian throughout the week, he keeps telling her to dress down into something casual...she doesn't really know what to do with that information.

She had originally gone to ask Patsy, but soon realised she'd have to tell the woman she's going on a date with the very man she warned her to stay away from, the feelings shes always known to keep clear of, and it kills her to hide it from her friend and almost aunt, but that's the way it has to stay.

Against her better wishes, she likes Killian, a lot, and if his messages are anything to go by, he likes her just the same. For now, he may change his mind when he learns she has his baby inside her, and she's keeping said baby. She's not sure what she'll even say to him, but she wants to tell him, she does.

She really does.

She just never expected to be in this situation, ever, in her entire life she never once considered the possibility of having a family, or getting married, let alone having a one night stand with a millionaire who's quite possibly the sweetest and most generous man this world has ever know.

(Apparently life likes to shit on her that way, as she's also quite petrified to tell said millionaire, no matter how sweet and generous he is, that she's pregnant with their oopsie-one night stand-baby.)

Dress down, one of his only instructions, the only thing he asked for their...date? Outing? Whatever, she's failed probably. She tries not to let her failing bother her, but it does, oh it so does, and she can't help it...

She changes seven times.

* * *

Throughout his entire life, even since he was tiny and his mother would make sure he had lunch to bring to school in the morning, Killian has always been told he's too cautious and worries too much.

It's a trait that kept him from asking Emma to go on a date with him from the second he met her, and the trait that makes him stand awkwardly outside a park, scratching behind his ear to show his nervousness.

He can't help but being scared she won't show up, after all, she did leave him alone after a pretty amazing night, and he hasn't seen her in a month, except for when he kind-of-sort-of stalked her online profiles and saw photos, not in person anyway.

He also can't help but be shocked when the blonde beauty approaches him with a nervous smile, not in a dress but a pair of jeans, which he didn't expect, and he grins wide- he can't help that either. "Swan."

Emma grins at him, stopping in front of him and stretching her arms out to show him her outfit. "Good or not casual enough?" He laughs softly and gives her a thumbs up, making her smile wider. "So, what's on the agenda?"

He smiles at her, shoving his hand in his pockets, wondering what she'll think. "Sailing. On my ship."

To his luck, Emma seems excited at the idea, nodding quickly with a giant smile. "Yeah, that's a great idea!"

He quickly extends an arm to her, which she takes, and they descend to his ship, smiles not fading, and his relief doesn't fade the whole way there, but she has this nervous tension practically like an aura around her, and he thinks he should ask, but also knows it's probably best not to.

Killian can settle with smiles for now.

* * *

Their date goes well, and they learn more about each other than before, despite the fact they've already slept together (and made a baby, but, details...) and spoke quite a lot that day, but it makes them like the other just that bit more.

Killian's already head over heels with her, he's fairly certain she's not in as deep as him, but he hopes one day she could be, as it doesn't seem like he won't like her any time soon. He's never felt this way for anyone before, ever, and it scares the crap out of him, considering the fact she left him after one almost-kinda-date, she could run now too.

For Emma's part, she's had to bite her tongue every five minutes so she won't ruin their date and tell him her secret, but she knows he can sense something is wrong, especially not after they almost immediately declared it a date within seconds of standing on his ship- the Jolly Rodger, if you wondered, he even brought a fake hook and pretended to boss her around- and she's enjoyed herself for every second of their day together.

Both are pretty much gone, although him considerably more than her, while she mainly thinks of how any affection he had for her will vanish at her news, making her not want to say at all.

So she doesn't.

Not on the Jolly, not when they go for ice cream after, not as he lets her have his jacket when it gets cold, not when he walks her to her door, not even when she drags him in for a nightcap, not even when he leaves the next morning for work- promising to arrange another date soon, exchanging kisses at her door.

If she wasn't totally screwed about telling him before, she is now.

* * *

It's a week full of date nights and goodbye kisses at the door before he tells her he wants her to meet Tink, claiming how she helped him find her again, and Emma agrees without a second thought, however she probably should have thought about it- seeing as he still has no clue, too smitten with her and her with him, and his friend may see through her lies about wine and coffee.

She misses coffee more than she missed sex, but now she has one without the other and all she wants is a proper cup of coffee, almost tempted to say yes half the time, but she settles on decaff with a sigh most times.

They have dinner, all three (well four including the baby inside her, but forgetting that detail) have dinner at Killian's ho-mansion, Tink giving Emma weird eyes and she keeps offering wine, but Emma declines each and every time- making the other blonde raise an eyebrow, but doesn't comment.

While Emma goes into the kitchen to grab another glass of water, Tink leans over the table to Killian with a frown. "Okay, what is this?"

Killian, in utter confusion, chews on his food thoughtfully. "This is you meeting my girlfriend."

Tink rolls her eyes, sipping her wine, before looking back at him straight in the eye. "The no wine thing? You told me she's high fly, loves her wine, elegant...you said she's Patsy Wolfe's niece, when has any of that family r-"

"Tink," He warns gently, frowning. "She just doesn't want some wine, leave it alone, can't you just be happy I-"

"I am happy." Tink tells him, not a word of a lie. "And I like Emma, I really do...but she's hiding something. And Killian you're totally blind to it, remember how when we spoke about love and love stories?"

"Yeah..." He raises an eyebrow, not sure where she's headed. "Develop?"

"We said how this could be an awesome love story, better than Brad and Angelina-"

"They've broken up by the way," Killian smirks softly, knowing of Tink's love for the couple and how crushed she was at the news, she almost cried at it, called him near tears and he had to ply her with ice cream and tissues. "So not the greatest love story-"

Tink blinks, twice and then once more a few seconds later, worried frown on her face. "Do you want your love story to be 'she hid something from me from the beginning of our relationship'? Because I sure as hell don't want that to be it, you deserve more then secrets, Jones."

Killian sighs, sipping at his water, considering her words. "I'll talk to her soon, promise."

* * *

Exactly a month after their first date, well not the first but close enough, Emma confides in Mary Margaret that she still hasn't told Killian, making the woman gasp and scold her, and Emma shrinks in on herself.

Biting her lip, she hugs herself, accepting her scolding from the nicest woman in the world, who she knows only wants the best for her, she knows that well, but she...she just can't tell him. "Don't you think he'll realize as you get bigger, you're two months pregnant, you can't hide it forever." She reminds her, making Emma groan.

She knows Killian will notice the second she gets a bump, he practically has a map in his head of her body, every curve, every freckle, mole or scar, he knows it all. He has a tendency to let his hands skim over her body after they've been intimate, pressing kisses to any of her blemishes and marks on her body, so she knows he'd notice even a little bump.

But, she also doesn't think she can tell him now, too scared, and she has an appointment in four weeks she doesn't want to go alone to, but she also won't not go, as her baby is more important then anything in her world, on the same level as her job, Killian second for now- he'll move up, it's only been a month.

A couple of Mary Margaret glares, staring at her doctors appointment slip and tea later, she knows she has to tell Killian very soon, but it doesn't stop her from sitting on her kitchen floor with chocolate ice cream, bun on her head and sweatpants on, crying her eyes out.

Mood swings may be coming early, or maybe that's just her...

* * *

Her love for chocolate ice cream doesn't go away, and she's discovered that she dips crisps in it and it makes her practically moan, having about seven tubs in the freezer of ice cream and two hundred packs of crisps in the cupboard.

Killian's taken to side eying her, frowning at her moans, grumbling about how it sounds like she's having more fun eating then she does in between the sheets, to which she looks practically offended and drags him to bed.

(He's not complaining, though he keeps saying she's insatiable.)

The only thing that's becoming harder to hide is the fact she keeps on buying new bras, wearing lots of elastic pants, and craving weird foods that Killian goes to get for her. She's ten weeks pregnant and planning on telling him the next time she sees him she promises herself, the next time, as soon as, no backing out.

As if he could read her mind, he walks through her apartment door with bags of food, using a borrowed key, and she almost tells him like she promised, but, like usual, she just thanks him and runs.

Oh, she's so dead, so, _so_ dead.

* * *

Unfortunately, she doesn't tell Killian the next time she sees him, or the next time, or the next time, and she knows she running out of time before she gets a bump, one that he'll notice and he'll know about.  
One that he'll probably run from, not wanting her or the baby.

And that thought, him not wanting them, that's what always makes her pause in her telling him, and ultimately, what makes her decide not to tell him, no matter how wrong it is not to tell the man you're slowly falling for that you're having his baby.

She knows its wrong, she tells herself it's wrong each and every night, but it doesn't mean she's going to tell him, she just can't risk it. Even if he will find out, and leave, and probably sign away his rights or think she's an awful mother and go for custody, which he probably would get considering she'll be awful at it, she just _can't._

With everything in her, she hopes he'll forgive her, because she sure as hell isn't forgiving herself any time soon.

* * *

 **Sorry I haven't posted in...a long time... but I have had the worst time of it soooooo I haven't had time/ haven't been well enough/ haven't stopped being sick long enough.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own OUAT, any songs I happen to use or any references I make, I don't own anything really, not even their names, which makes me very damn sad. Also, song title from Florence And The Machine- Never Let Me Go.**

 **Never Let Me Go**

 **3rd Person**

Emma wakes up alone for the first time in weeks, wondering where Killian is before reminding herself he doesn't live with her, and won't for a while. Probably never, considering the fact he'll hate her when he finds out her secret.

He keeps on staring at her midsection, and she worries he's noticed her bump, but then he just shakes his head like he's stupid for thinking what she knows is true, she thinks he thinks he knows. Maybe he's too nervous to ask, thinking it's too soon, and it very much is, but she can't find it in herself to care.

Well, she does care, she wants him to know, she really does. But she doesn't care how soon it is, because, despite her worries, she's coming to love the baby more and more with each day, loving the little symptoms (no matter how annoying) that she gets.

Killian must be assuming her weight gain is because she keeps eating so much, normally chocolate ice cream, and weight gain sometimes means her boobs get bigger too, or so she tells him, knowing that he won't question her, and most likely won't look up women's breasts online, no matter how worried he is.

Also, he's probably scared about what results he may get, so he doesn't question her. Just nodding along to her words, seeing as angering his girlfriend isn't his best bet, no, no, no, he won't have a pissed off girlfriend.

She just hopes she doesn't get dropped to 'random lady with my baby inside her' when he finds out, leaving her alone, like she always has been and probably always will be.

Being alone is all she's used to.

* * *

Killian has noticed her being strange, off with him one minute and pulling him to bed the next, weird food cravings that he can't explain, but she tells him it's just because she likes her comfort food, and he wouldn't know if it's a lie- he doesn't know her as well as she knows herself, at least, in her eyes he doesn't.

He knows her like the back of his hand, and he agrees with Tink on the point of her lying, he doesn't want that, he wants the truth, and he's terrified she's going to run off like she did before, he just wants her to stay.

One thing that has made him leap for joy is her breasts getting bigger, which he knows sounds pretty damn awful considering he should like her for all of her, which he does (he really likes every part of her, even the weird mood swings her), however you can't blame him for loving the growth.

(She told him that's natural with weight gain, but he wouldn't know any better, and he wouldn't ever mention her gaining weight, _**never**_.)

However, what does worry him is the fact his new favorite features of her body, he loves all of her body to be honest, are constantly sore and tender, so he tries to be gentle, assuming she's probably on her period- which he assumes may have something to do with the mood swings and cravings.

He has enough cousins, aunts and friends to know when not to ask, just assume that all the details add up to PMS, no matter how rude and stereotypical it may sound, he really sounds like an ass. But to him, all the symptoms add up to her period, to him at least, it may be something else.

What does worry him, and which makes him think it's not her monthlies, is her being sick every morning. His 'sister' (Tink, in all honesty) used to feel nauseous for a few days when she had hers, but never to the extent Emma is. He gives her water, puts her to bed with a washcloth on her head, gives her dry bread...

Then she's fine later, pulling him into her bedroom with a giant grin, telling him how much she needs him and feels fine while he worries. It's not until she's actually taking off his clothes he realizes she's serious and goes along with her.

He just hopes she's okay.

* * *

Emma's probably going to kill him for this, but he can't help it, he was too worried to just leave it all, he just wants her to be okay, she was before they started dating.

At work, when he's unaware she's just hit her eleven week mark, he's sat on his desk chair, thinking about her, which is something he does quite often and will never stop doing, throwing darts at the board.

He even has a little list of her symptoms that worry him, and he's hidden it so no one could ever find it, not even the cleaners or Tink (who goes through his things often). In his elegant scrawl he's written:

 _Morning sickness_

 _Avoiding coffee and wine (Wine, seriously!)_

 _Mood swings_

 _Larger breasts (that are sore)_

 _Cravings_

 _Horny (ALL THE TIME!)_

That's all he has so far, thinking about what else he could put, not wanting to say weight gain in case it offends her, but he has noticed her looking a little rounder, wearing more leggings than jeans, keeping baggy tops and...her stomach is slightly firmer then usual.

Before he can even go down that line of thought, Tink walks in, spotting his list and only seeing the word breasts before he hides the list, and she looks concerned. "Uhm, everything okay?"

Trying to lie, preserving Emma's privacy, he nods, list between his thighs so she can't see, but Tink raises an eyebrow and he knows her questions come from a place of love, not being nosy. "Okay no. I'm worried about Emma is all."

Tink sits on his desk, and he pouts for his files. "What's wrong with her? Is she gonna dump you?"

He's sort of offended that's her first thought, he didn't think he was that bad. "No, she's sick." Tink gestures for him to continue and he shows her the list. "I'm worried, even the things I like make her feel pain or something bad like that." Tink nods, reading the list, looking like she knows. "Well?"

"Pregnant." Tink answers, putting the list on the desk, making his eyes widen as he got the same conclusion but shrugged it off as he didn't know much. "Congrats, you got her pregnant."

He frowns, shaking his head. "No, that's not it. If she was pregnant she'd tell me, Emma wouldn't keep it from me." He's certain she wouldn't and if she did she'd better have a good reason. "Emma knows I love kids, she knows that if she was, it'd be okay. Right?"

Tink doesn't reply to that, but pats his hand. "Ask her."

* * *

At eleven weeks and a half weeks, she frowns at herself in the mirror, holding her top up, standing sideways, staring at herself, eyes wide.

Killian went to work ten minutes ago, a bit annoyed since she glared him for not giving in and jumping her when she woke up needing him, kissing his neck and making love bites, instead he pushed her away gently with a tender kiss, saying he needed to go to work.

However, that didn't settle with her and she practically growled at him, but did kiss him goodbye as he left- she can't resist that small temptation- and went back to her room to see...a barely there bump.

But it is there, and as she looks closer it's not as barely there as she thought, she's surprised Killian hasn't noticed, maybe he thought-

There's a small gasp from behind her that makes her head jerk to see Killian in her bedroom doorway, eyes wide as he stares at her bump, and he obviously noticed now. "Emma..." He stands as straight as an arrow, not sure what to do, and she doesn't move, meaning her belly is still on display. "A-are you?"

A thick swallow and a small, curt, nod confirms what he's about to say, and she bites her lip. "Yeah..." She whispers softly, finally letting her top drop down. "I-I'm eleven and a half weeks."

Killian's jaw twitches, and she wonders what he'll do, and she doesn't expect the hurt look in his eyes, not at all, nor the break in his voice when he tells her he left his files- as they were going through them the night before- and he takes them from her side table, never taking his eyes from her stomach.

"Killian?" She frowns, staring at his every moment, ignoring her fear of him leaving for the need to comfort him and get rid of that hurt look. "Are you okay?"

He just gives a little nod, coughing once. "We'll talk later." She blinks back tears, frowning at his response, and she can't help the hand that falls to where their baby grows, no clue as to what it's parents are doing or saying.

With that, and his eyes never leaving her bump, he leaves.

* * *

Killian comes back, not any different then before except he's too tired, having finished several presentations and all he wants is to go to bed, so Emma sighs and tells him to go, and he initially goes to her bedroom like he normally would but she shakes her head. "Go home."

It makes the hurt in his eyes worse, and he has to blink back tears, something she knows, but she needs to give him space and him being around her bump all day won't help give him that space.

She's trying to help him, but she thinks she made it worse.

That night, as she's crawling into bed she spots a little box that wasn't there before, sat on his- _the spare, the spare!-_ pillow and she opens it to find a tiny rattle. It's got a little teddy on the end and the sound it makes is beautiful, a little note attached to it, written in his elegant scrawl.

 _~ I hope he or she likes it, I'm sorry for being an idiot earlier.~_

With that, she buries her face into the pillow, shaking the rattle lightly, putting it back in the box so she won't break it, hugging the box close until she falls asleep.

Oh how she's messed it up.

* * *

Killian goes home that night, not sure what he did wrong, he wanted to speak to her, tell her it's okay, that he's happy, that he wants their baby, no matter how soon, of course he wants his baby.

He wants her too.

However, it seems she doesn't want him, sending him away, like she didn't care at all. He thought he meant more then to just shut him out, however, keeping him away from her, keeping him away from their child...is just what she did, she obviously didn't care as much as he once assumed.  
He thought they could have had a future.

That night, as he slips into bed, thinking about the conflicting opinions he had earlier, one wondering why she wouldn't tell him and the other being 'oh my god I'm going to be a dad'. It scared him, God did it scare him, but as he considered it more and more, he realized he liked the thought.

He wants their baby, of course he does, how could he not want something that's his own flesh and blood? It's not like he intentionally forgot the condom, or like he had been planning it, but they hadn't used one and he was fairly certain she probably wasn't using birth control or has an IUD, so they didn't exactly prevent it.  
As he considered their baby earlier, he realized he wants their baby.

He wants the pregnancy and scans, the buying the entire stores supplies of diapers, spending his entire life savings on making sure the little mix of them would be okay and feel loved, he wants a little kid to call him daddy, he wants to bring the child to school when their old enough and care for him or her for the rest of his life.  
He wants it all, and he wants it with her.

So, now, laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, he's slightly angry at her for kicking him out, but also hurt, more hurt than he's ever been before. He deserves every right to speak to her about it, it took two to make a baby, and he deserves to talk to her, to know their baby.

If she thinks kicking him out is going to make him leave the subject alone, leave her and his child, she has another thing coming. He will see her, he doesn't care how long it takes or how hard he'll try, he wants them in his life.  
The ringing of his phone shakes him out of his thoughts, picking up quickly to see a message from Emma, just a few words, formal and not like their other, loving and kind, messages.

 _Two days, St Luke's Hospital, 9am. That's my scan, come if you want._

As if he won't. He quickly replies, wanting her to know he's on board with whatever she wants, and he now knows she wants him to have at least the scan, she's not totally shutting him out.

 **I'll be there.**

He turns on his side after putting his phone down, and falls asleep, dreaming of blonde curls and blue eyes.

* * *

 **Hope you liked, and poor CS is shit on today huh?**


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't own a thing, I've had a dull weekend, well not really, a sad weekend, and I needed to write CS, so I don't own them but I'm using them, oops! Song title from Elvis, my King, Love Me Tender.**

 **You Have Made My Life Complete**

 **3rd Person**

Killian wakes up on the morning of Emma's first appointment alone, cold, and pretty damn miserable, having not made up with her, not even a text, although he had tried to call her a few times over the last two days.

He also has a book stuck on his face, but details, details.

Their appointment, well her, actually both of their, but they're not- anyway, THE appointment is at nine am, so he's obviously up at seven am to get dressed and call into work (he doesn't have to, he's the boss, but he thinks it's polite), and he's ready with an hour to spare.

Driving down to the hospital, he has to sit in traffic for almost half an hour, something he forgot to plan for, and he knows he'll be a few minutes late, but he shrugs it off, sending Emma a text to let her know.

What he doesn't know is that he has no service, so the text never gets sent, and he's shut off his phone before he knows.

He gets there twenty minutes late.

* * *

Emma wakes up much the same as Killian, cold and miserable, just wanting him to hold her, but then she remembers she's the one who made him leave, hating herself and her decisions.

She's up at four am from the cold, drinking hot cocoa, wrapped in a blanket, needing him in more than one way, seeing one of his shirts he left a few days ago and sniffing it until it's an hour later and she has to go for a shower.

By six am she's already putting her red leather jacket on, slipping into her boots and grabbing her keys, anxious as it'll be the first time she's seen him since she made him leave and found that rattle, which she makes sure to bring, as he said he'd be there and she wants him to know she loves it.

Unfortunately, she ends up sitting in her car for an hour outside the hospital, after having stopped for food for an hour and driving the rest of the way as slow as she could, and she plays games on her phone, waiting to see Killian's car.

However, when she's sitting in the waiting room there's still no sign of him, and her appointment is ten minutes late, Killian is always like three hours early, and she's worried about him, he would have told her if he was running late.

Ending up in the chair with her little bump on show, five minutes after the doctor had said they were just going out to get something, she realizes why he never text her or called her to let him know he's not there, there's no reason except that...

He's not coming.

The thought makes her tear up, sitting alone in the sterile white room, looking at her little bump, and her tears fall, unable to help it as she knows she all alone, like always. He got tired of her and her making him leave was just perfect, able to bugger off without a trace because it's her fault.

She's all out sobbing five minutes later when Killian runs in, two hot chocolates in hand, concerned look on his face as he rushes to her, and she wipes her eyes quickly because he's _here,_ he never left or hadn't planned coming, he was just late. "Swan, is everything okay? Is the baby okay?" He asks, putting the hot chocolates on the floor and placing a hand on her bump.

She sniffs, wiping her face clean and looking at the hand on her stomach. "I don't know, the doctor hasn't been in yet."

Immediately, he looks confused, pulling up a chair and sitting on it, hand not leaving her bump and he's careful not to spill their drinks. "Then why are y-" He realizes, eyes flashing with sorrow and a little hurt. "You thought I wasn't coming?"

She looks down at his hand, covering it with her own hesitantly, making him sigh. "Oh, Emma, I sent you a text to tell you I was running late." He pulls his phone out of his pocket with his free hand, checking his texts and seeing it didn't send. "That never sent...Emma, I'm so sorry."

Opening her mouth, she goes to reply, but the doctor walks in and silences her, starting asking her questions, and Killian removes his hand, taking their hot chocolates and putting one by Emma, the other he sips, hand landing next to Emma while the doctor prepares the ultrasound machine.

When the gel gets put on her stomach she gasps softly at the cold, although she was warned before hand, and when the doctor starts to move the wand around her stomach, a little picture appears, with an average sized white thing in the middle, a black space surrounding it.

But the white thing is in the shape you'd expect to see a baby at full term at, but...obviously not. He gasps softly at the sight, unable to take his eyes off the screen as the baby moves around a little, making jerky movements, and he feels Emma grab his hand.

He barely registers what the doctor says, squeezing Emma's hand gently. "The baby is the size of a lime by now, growing fast, and weighs half an ounce, so barely anything." He smiles softly at the words, but they don't really go in past the fact their baby is healthy. "The biggest development will be the reflexes, you can see it curling it's fingers."

Emma nods, eyes not moving from the screen, a tear falling down her face at the sight of the most perfect thing on earth. "Wow... getting big." He glances at her, wiping the tear gently, feeling his own coming, but he ignores them.

They end up staring at it for most of the appointment.

* * *

Killian tags along with her back to her apartment, both have an ultrasound photo in their wallets (well, her purse) that they can't stop looking at, and the spare gets put on the fridge, the only thing on the fridge apart from photo of them taken on their first proper date.

Now she's sat on her couch, not having said much since her crying fit in the doctors, sipping water, with him across from her in the armchair, barely speaking, having meant to be discussing what to do when the baby comes.

"I got the rattle." She whispers, staring at her knees, and bites her lip. "I love it."

He smiles softly to know she likes it, but isn't too happy that she looks like she's just seen her dog die, stiff as a board and not like she was at all when they were together...he's not even sure they ever ended things, he doesn't have any clue, but he doesn't want to leave her. "I'm glad."

She chews her bottom lip, balancing the glass on her knee. "I thought you wouldn't come today, thought you left me...us." She blinks back tears at the memory, remembering her unwanted, how distraught she felt at him not wanting them, not wanting their baby.

Almost like a reflex, he moves to kneel by her, putting her glass on her coffee table and taking both her hands in his. "Emma, look at me." She does as she's asked, though it's more like he told her to, not so much giving her a choice. "I am not leaving you. Ever."

She doesn't look like she believes him so he continues. "I'm not leaving today, I'm not leaving tomorrow, and if you'll have me...never. I have no where else I would rather be than here, just around you and our child, I would take this over _anything_ , Emma." He squeezes her hands gently, making sure to look in her eyes when he tells her. "I love that baby, no matter what, that won't change. And...I'm quite possibly falling fast and hard for you too."

Hearing her suck in a breath at his words, he stops there, biting his lip and hoping that she doesn't reject him, not after the past two months of total bliss they've had, never has he ever been happier, and he worries so damn much.

That is until she whispers softly back to him, sniffing softly and looking straight in his eyes. "I'm falling for you too." She lets a tear fall down her face, one that he wipes away quickly, cupping her cheek. "Please don't leave again."

He opens his mouth to say something but she cuts him off. "Not even if I tell you to, just...stay?" He nods quickly, reaching up to hug her, letting her bury her face into his neck.

"I'm not going anywhere, Swan, I promise."

* * *

It's almost a week later, and Killian has gone home at a ridiculous time every night, ending up home when it's almost three am and he has work at five, almost falling asleep at his desk, then going to Emma and spending the rest of his time there.

He just wants to be around her all the time, he doesn't want to leave her alone with the baby, he doesn't want to miss anything, but she insists he has to go home, as she wants to go slower than before, and he agrees so he doesn't lose her again.

In fact, he's not sure he ever lost her, but c'est la vie, he has her now and has no intention of letting her go, ever, and he's going to be there all the time even if it means late nights that make him bone dead tired.

Tink tells him to take a day off, but he spends that clearing out his spare room for the baby when it's born, and his dog follows him around all day (having not seen too much of him for weeks, and then seeing depressed, doesn't want to cuddle, him) so he can't even leave his house to go see Emma without the mutt whining.

He can complain about the bloody dog all he wants, but Smee is his baby and first mate, he loves the thing like he's never loved anything before, save the baby...and possibly Emma. It's too soon to know.

Apparently it's evident how tired he is, as Emma shows up at his door one day with bags of food, and he takes them with the rule that she shouldn't be carrying so much, offering to cook for him and stay the night if he just _sleeps._

They end up eating take out Chinese food (when he complains that she shouldn't be standing for long periods of time to cook, and she stabs his hand with a fork) on his couch watching reruns of Friends, laughing at almost every joke and cuddling closer all night.

Although she came to his to get him to sleep, she ends up keeping him up most of the night with kisses and wandering hands until he cracked and re-consummated their almost lost relationship.

(He ends up taking another day off to make up for the two days lost.)

* * *

 **Hope you all liked this kinda sad but hopefully very sweet chapter! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**I own nothing that OUAT claims or whatever, probably never will own anything cause I spend most of my life either writing or sending Snapchat's about OUAT to my friend. Title from Black Velvet - Allanah Myles (And I just found out this song is about Elvis, who knew?).**

 **Also, I forgot to mention, an ultrasound is a sonogram, I'm just British and WILL forget to say.**

 **Always Wanting More**

 **3rd Person**

Emma walks down the tiled floors of Killian's work, hand on her fourteen week along bump, smiling softly as she carries a mug of coffee for him in her other, having planned to surprise him.

As she steps into his section of the building, she's immediately struck by how beautiful everything is, the walls a wonderful blue colour that calms her on sight, with polished wooden floors that differ from the rest of the building, and black granite desks.

She feels like she stepped out of a dumpster into paradise, not having expected this at all for his work, millionaire or not.

Walking down the hall towards his office is an adventure, smiling wide at the sight of play areas for children, obviously he'd been thinking of the children's charities he funds when he designed the place.

There are gorgeous waiting rooms and wonderful decorations surrounding the entirety of the rooms, and she smiles wide when she can see him from the glass windows to his office instead of walls.

Instead of waiting, she knocks on his door and waits for him to reply to walk in, his face lighting up at the sight of her, walking to greet her with a kiss and a hand on her bump. The little gesture makes her heart swell, even more when he gently traces a heart into her bump before pulling away to let her sit down, thanking her for the coffee.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go for lunch with us." She offers, smiling, and he nods quickly, almost spilling coffee on himself. "The baby craves Italian."

He chuckles softly, shaking his head at her, but she knows he doesn't mind. "Then the baby must have."

Humming, she nods, smiling wide and she's scared she'll never stop. She finds she doesn't care, he makes her happy, that's all she wants, screw anyone who says any differently.

Killian Jones makes her the happiest Swan alive.

* * *

They end up walking hand in hand down the river, him taking the rest of the day off to spend it with her, smiling and taking lots of pictures, mostly because he claims they need photo's of them to show their baby when it's born, but she senses it's just because he wants photos of her on his phone.

(Her theory is confirmed two hours later when she's his home screen, their recent ultrasound of the baby being his lock screen.)

Unfortunately, their happiness is short lived when she gets a call from Mary Margaret to hurry up and get to her, and Emma worries too much to let it go, kissing Killian goodbye when he drives her to David and Mary Margaret's house.

She offered him to come in with her, but he doesn't know them that well, and she thinks he's embarrassed about something, not knowing what and too worried for her friends to ask, she just waves him off and rushes inside.

Within seconds of her erratic knocking on their door, Mary Margaret opens it with a large smile, happy tears falling down her face. "Come in!" She all but drags Emma in, who complains about being man-handled.

"Okay, what is going-" She raises an eyebrow at the sight of David holding a positive pregnancy test in front of her face. "On...you're...?"

Emma looks between them and sees matching happy smiles, which causes her to grin and hugs them both tight, but wonders why they could wait to tell her that instead of taking her away from Killian, but she's happy for them so she doesn't care.

"Daniel's gonna be a big brother huh?" Emma asks, and they nod, unable to help their grins that are starting to creep her out _just a little._ "How far along do you think you are? Are you excited? Am I Godmother?"

David just blinks at her for a moment after the last question. "We think she's about seven or eight weeks, of course we're excited and to be discussed at a later date."

Rolling her eyes, she shrugs. "I can live with that."

* * *

Over the course of her life, Emma has found that happiness seems to slip from her body like oxygen, and she's already frowning by the time she gets home to her apartment, biting her lip, thinking.

Looking at the bare walls and lonely space, she realizes the only company she has when she's at home is the baby, well...her bump. The baby isn't born yet, therefore all she does is talk to the bump about her day and what shows are on TV, even making sure to keep her language child appropriate.

Wondering if Killian feels as lonely as she does when home, she pouts, remembering he has Smee to keep him company, the giant Bernese Mountain Dog always following him around and licking everyone's faces.

He always tells her that Smee is great with children, and he brings him to help out with the kids quite often, even going as far to call him his First Mate.

It's lucky, she supposes, that the dog is so good with kids, as soon enough they'll have one and the dog will have to keep it's calm temperament with it. However, she knows the dog would never go against Killian, and if Killian said to leave the baby alone, Smee would listen in a heartbeat.

Sometimes she wishes she had a dog, because at least she wouldn't be completely lonely when home alone, cleaning since she needs something to do, and she never went to work in the first place. She only showed up once a month to tell people their ideas were awful before leaving and getting paid thousands, and that was fine when she was jet setting around the world and spending most of her life in a coffee shop.

Now, she's bored. Very bored, so bored she ends up eating chocolate ice cream straight from the tub in bed while watching Netflix, crying at episodes of her TV shows. Her ice cream melts when she's only halfway through it, and she ends up drinking the chocolate liquid left because she's too tired to stand up.

It's times like these she wishes she didn't live alone.

* * *

Two days.

It's been two days since she's last Killian, work keeping them apart as he's had presentations to do, early nights, early starts and late endings. Meanwhile, she sits in bed, flicking through the channels, reading pregnancy books and eating onion rings dipped in liquid chocolate ice cream.

Out of everything, she really misses his voice.

Above anything else, above his smile and eyes and his words, she doesn't even miss his cooking or sex as much as she misses his voice, only getting rushed texts and then nothing for hours before him telling her he'll call later, but never does.

She gets it, she understands that it's only a few days and his work has to come first just for a few days, not too long, but she just wants a phone call, that's all.

It's lonely at her place, she starting shopping for baby things but found she didn't want to make any decisions without him, feeling wrong and not even sure where she'd put everything.

The spare bedroom in her apartment was full of storage, things that would take weeks to go through, and Killian banned her from going at it alone, deeming the room unsafe for her and their baby, scared something would fall on her or the heavy lifting of boxes would strain her too much.

 _Oh my God,_ she even misses overprotective him. The side that's the biggest pain the ass ever, that she wants to slap and kisses senseless at the same time, and normally ends up doing the latter most of the time.

Another day and he finally calls her, telling her he's on his way to her, no excuses, just to get dressed (as he knows she's still in her PJ's) and grab her bag, they're going out.

She's never smiled wider in her life.

* * *

They end up singing to songs in his car, laughing and eating take out chips, spending the day doing nothing and everything together, unable to help the happy smiles on their faces.

He has thousands of songs on his phone that he connects to the speakers in his car, putting on playlists and dancing in their seats when they park near the docks, just watching the water and singing along.

It's nothing and it's perfect to her, loving that she gets to hear his singing as well as his regular, smooth, tone she loves so much.

 _"The boy could sing, knew how to move, everything..."_ She sings, dancing around in her seat, acting like she's doing a concert while he laughs. " _Always wanting more, he'd leave you longing for...Black velvet and that little boy's smile...Black velvet with that slow southern style!"_

He laughs harder, clapping in time with her singing until she passes on to him, and he knows it word for word like her. " _Mama's baby's in the heart of every school girl...'Love me tender' leaves 'em cryin' in the aisle..."_

She giggles through his singing, drinking some of her lemonade and eating a few chips, trying not to choke on her food, and they end up singing a couple more verses before she kisses him unexpectedly, accidentally and it spills all over her jeans.

It doesn't matter when she throws them off ten minutes later in the back seat.

What does matter, however, is when they go back to hers, and they watch TV together, commenting on how their (shared) favorite show shocked them for the seventh time, and she cries at a death on 'The Walking Dead', but he can't even chalk it up to her hormones.

(He teared up a little too, if he's completely honest.)

* * *

They both go to bed at the same time, but end up reading for an hour, curled up against each other, his fake hand rested on her growing bump and hers laid over his.

However, there's only one pitfall. He has to leave in the morning for work and she'll be lonely again, but he vows to come ho-back to hers _(back to hers!)_ later on, and she hopes he does. She really misses him when she's gone, and she doesn't care how whiny she sounds, she just wants something to do. She's going stir crazy!

When she expresses how bored she gets a week later, a week filled with him coming back to her every night, laying in bed, her in between his thighs as they go through a baby catalogue, he expresses sympathy.

Dropping a kiss to her shoulder, he suggests that he bring Smee over to hers for a few days while he's there, and she eagerly agrees, smiling wide. Her doctor told her to try exercise, she could walk the dog when she got bored and have cuddles for the rest of the day.

Why did Killian always have such good ideas?

* * *

A few days turns into two weeks, and before she knows it, she's grown used to have Smee to cuddle all day and Killian to cuddle all night.

What she loves, and she really _loves_ it, is when Smee rests his head very gently on her seventeen week bump, and she giggles whenever he licks the space, like he knows she's got a precious love in there.

Her day's are half filled, Smee wanting to cuddle more than walk, but on the weekends her and Killian go baby shopping, yet never end up buying anything, they still have to speak about where the baby will be permanently.

Biting her lip is what she does each and every time Killian mentions it. On one hand she wants the baby to be with her the most, seeing as it's both logical (for feedings and things only she can do) and she doesn't work as often as him so she has more time.

On the other hand, Killian claims that he can take as much time as he wants off work once the baby is nearly due and born, seeing as he's the boss, and his place is bigger, plus he has a big garden and schools nearby that will be useful as the kid gets older.

Killian plans for the future, so far ahead of her, and all she can think about it what the colour for the baby's room will be.

They're sitting in her living room, Smee's head on her belly and his legs on Killian's lap, her stroking his thick black fur, when Killian suddenly turns to her. "Do you want to know if we're having a girl or a boy?"

The scan to see if they're having a girl or a boy is when she's almost twenty four weeks pregnant, as that's the only time they could get that worked with them all, and she's never been so anxious, though he's probably worse.

Considering it, she purses her lips, thinking about how she wants a surprise but also likes the idea of knowing what to do for his or her room. "No, I wanna keep it a surprise for me, but you can know if you want."

Giving her a small smile, he shakes his head. "Nope, if you don't, I don't."

Smee whines a little like he has something to do with the conversation, like he wants to know himself what it is, or maybe he has secret dog senses so he already knows...okay she knows she sounds crazy but how **cool** would that be?

They sit in silence for a little while longer, just watching TV, when she bites her lip at the couple in the show they're watching discuss moving in together, resulting in a yes, and he turns to her at the same time, both opening their mouths at the same time, and his question happens seconds before hers.

"Will you move in with me?"

* * *

 **Well, well, well...I don't know where I intended going with this bit. Hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading! :)  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**I own absolutely nothing, at all, really. So like, please don't sue me. I'm totally shocked at how annoying people are, all day everyone has just annoyed me, and I'm not totally sure why. Anyway, chapter title from Just wanna love you- The Shires.**

 **It's All So Easy**

 **3rd Person**

Emma's eyes widen slightly, and the nervous but hopeful look on Killian's face is enough to make her smile, cupping his face in her hands and pressing a little kiss to his lips before pulling back and nodding. "I will."

He smiles wide, disbelieving look on his face, looking in her eyes to make sure."You will?"

Quickly nodding, she smiles wider, wrapping her arms around him and giggling, him pressing kisses to every space he can get to. "Killian!" She exclaims, almost knocking Smee off the couch with their kisses and hugs, and she registers his hand on her bump, which only makes her giggle happier.

"Yes, love?" He sits her up, smiling, unable to stop himself.

She strokes his face, genuinely excited, and she should be scared, but doing this seems right for them, like she's ready, she wants to. "We're moving in together." She whispers softly, and he nods, repeating the words back to her.

"We're moving in together."

* * *

On the Saturday after he asks her to move in, they pack up all of her stuff, and on the Sunday, she's driving with him behind the moving truck, holding hands over the gears, big, dopey, smiles on their faces.

She moves into his room, in case it isn't obvious, and he forbids her from lifting anything heavy, and all she's allowed to do is balance a Coke can on her bump.

As annoying as him being protective is, she thinks it's actually sweet. A few days later she had the worst pain in her back and he'd given her a (mostly) full body massage, pressing kisses to her bump and they ended up whispering to the baby all night.

At twenty weeks, when he's smoothing circles into her bump with his thumb, knelt by the couch with the dogs head on his knee, he feels the baby kick and freaks out quite a lot, begging for it to happen again until the baby wouldn't stop all night, but his voice calmed her at two am, singing sea shanties.

They have their first fight over the baby's room, which is only natural, and they're lucky it was only a small fight, as her hormones had her half wanting to kill him, and half wanting to throw him on the bed.

It ended with two very sweaty people with only a thin sheet covering them, and a very satisfied Killian.

It satisfied her too, just to clarify.

* * *

Emma is twenty four weeks, looking through baby books for names for either genders, oblivious to Killian, who is anxiously sitting in the waiting room of the doctors, biting his lip, leg tapping on the floors, and the doctor calls them in before he has time to express his nerves to his girlfriend, as this is the scan that is the most important- it's their last scan.

The doctor asks all the normal questions he's used to by now, and check Emma's weight and how big her bump is, before they sit her up on the table, letting her lift her top to show her six month belly off proudly, taking his hand.

When Emma's all ready, biting her lip and smiling softly as the screen lights up with a picture of their baby, the doctor moving the wand around her stomach, and he knows that despite they agreed not to, they're both trying to tell if they will have a boy or girl.

As the doctor asks whether they would like to know the sex of the baby, he bites his lip, as they discussed not finding out yet only a few weeks ago, and at his face, Emma shakes her head. "We want the surprise."

However, when the doctor leaves the room for a moment to check on something, Emma reaches towards the file but stops at Killian's knowing look, retracting her hand. "Fine, fine, I won't look."

He smiles softly, pressing a kiss to her head. "Thank you."

* * *

Killian's going over names with her, but she makes a face at most of them, looking disgusted by even the mention. "Jane?" He pretends to be sick in his mouth, reading some more. "Wendy?"

Emma looks like she considers it, and nods, so he writes it down, smiling as he quite likes it too. "Oliver?" He puts a cross through it. "James?" She shakes her head. "Lewis?"

She looks personally offended by even the suggestion, thinking. "What about Liam?" She asks, shrugging, and he bites his lip to stop his tears at the name. "After your brother, I'm sure he'd of loved it?"

Wanting her to know how much it meant to him, he wraps an arm around her, smiling and pressing a kiss to her head. "Liam, okay, Liam it is if we have a boy."

Humming, Emma thinks, pursing her lips. "Lila?" He scrunches up his nose. "What's wrong with that?"

"Too hippie." He shakes his head, not liking that. "Our baby is no hippie, he or she will be just like mama, maybe less whiny." She hits him for that one, then proceeding to shut down every other name he offers, and he rolls her eyes, knowing that since he said no to hers she's not going to consent to one she does like. "Ooo, Ruth?"

She wrinkles her nose, shaking her head.

* * *

Emma walks into his office, hand caressing her twenty five week bump with one hand, while the other is handing him a coffee, something she's taken to doing more recently when Smee doesn't want a walk.

It all seems normal until she's shrugging off her jacket, putting it up on a coat peg and speaking about baby names. "Y'know, Ruth was nice, I like Ruth."

That gives him a pause, she hated the name with a burning passion before, but he doesn't click in. "Well that's great." He smiles, walking to her to place a hand on her bump. "I'm glad you liked it t-" He does pause this time. "Wait..."

She raises an eyebrow, confused. "What?"

"Wait...you _hated_ the name Ruth before, really didn't like it." He considers this for a moment, leaning on the desk, thinking. "Hm...unless!" Her eyes widen a little, but she smirks, listening to his theories.

"Yes, Killian?"

"You know we won't have to use the name because you called the doctors and found out we're having a boy, therefore, never using Ruth!" She rolls her eyes, genuinely not knowing. "That's it? Isn't it? You know it's a boy?" He leans down to look at her stomach. "Hi Liam."

She pushes his head back up, laughing softly. "I really don't know. It could be a girl."

Scoffing, he rolls his eyes. "No, you know it's a boy! Unless...you knew I'd think that...and it's a girl." She rolls her eyes this time, sitting down with a sigh, not even bothering to humor him as he grabs some paper to theorize.

Apparently she should have stayed home.

* * *

Curiosity has always gotten the best of Killian Jones so, naturally, he calls the doctors and finds out the gender, because he really can't help himself for wanting to know what he thinks Emma is hiding.

Watching TV, Emma seems oblivious to the baby's gender, and she always address the baby as 'button' or 'munchkin' not by he or she, which makes him think she's a good actress, as he wouldn't be able to keep from telling her.

He sits by her, Smee has his head on her growing belly, licking wherever the baby kicks, making her giggle softly, and he smirks at her. "So, uh, called the doctor."

Frowning, she sits up straight. "Why? Is everything okay?"

With a quick nod, he points at her bump. "Know what we're having." He ignores the clueless look, obviously not clicking that she doesn't know.

Emma frowns, raising an eyebrow, ignoring the tiny tinge of hurt that spreads that he refuses to believe her when she says she has no clue what the baby's gender is. "Killian, why would you do that? I swear, I don't know." She protests, but he just smiles, waving her off.

"Yes you do, you know we're having a baby girl, Emma." He scoffs, but the look on her face makes him pause, and sit up properly when he sees tears in her eyes. "Oh God, you didn't know." She shakes her head, a tear falling, and he wipes it away. "Oh, Emma, I'm so-"

"No," She pecks his lips. "Don't be sorry, this is great!" She exclaims, laughing softly. "A baby girl!" He smiles, happy that she is, laying a hand on her bump which covers hers, grinning like big goofs and not caring.

"Our baby girl, Swan."

* * *

 **Hope you guys liked this, sorry it took a few days where others have been daily, but I had a trip to the theater and my friend had a break up, it's not been calm for me! :)**


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